RELATIONSHIPS AND YOUR EMOTIONAL I.Q.
I am going to talk about something very familiar to all of us, that is our emotions and our feelings. Emotions are universal, and it is easy to tell how someone is feeling without them verbalizing how they feel. The basic emotions of sad, glad, mad, fear, and anger are evident by facial expressions and other behavioral responses like tears, laughter, shaking, or yelling.
The emotions of jealousy, guilt, shame, and envy are the emotions that are common in all relationships, not necessarily at the same time. If you live long enough, you will experience these emotions yourself because of what you are feeling and projecting onto others or what someone else is projecting onto you. This happens with family, friends, colleagues, and in intimate relationships.
These are some of the most difficult emotions to deal with because they are not always easily recognized at the beginning of a relationship or in early childhood. Once recognized, coping with them and dealing with them can be quite a battle in itself.
My goal as a consultant and life coach is to help you raise your emotional I.Q. through self-awareness. This is the ability to manage both your own emotions and to understand the emotions of people around you. Emotions are subjective; the frequency and intensity vary from person to person.
The first emotion I am going to illustrate is jealousy, defined as one who is resentful, possessive, distrustful, and suspicious. In intimate relationships jealousy is usually accompanied with control when there is a dominant, unyielding personality that tries to maintain control by using a power differential through income, violence, gas lighting, fear, or drugs.
Now the next emotions are the twins of guilt and shame. Guilt is felt when you fail to do something or when you persuade someone to do something that they don’t really want to do. Shame is a feeling of humiliation, distress, or wrongdoing. When there is a power differential in a relationship, guilt and shame are used concurrently.
Now the last emotion for this episode is envy, which is defined as resentment, discontent, and wanting what others have. There are so many people who operate under this dark spirit of hate. Envy is seen in everything from families, businesses, and sports, you name it. Whenever people are only focused on acquiring material wealth and fame; deceit, confusion, and every evil thing will follow.
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